Sex Advice: How can we spice up our sex life?
July 31st, 2009
Hi,
My wife and i love your blogs and advice. Its very sexy and we need more!
We have been married for 7 years and are very much in love and have a great sex life. Only we need some new stuff to try! Any ideas?
We play in public, take pictures and some naughty video. But we need some new stuff. Let us know what you think?
Thanks
Liam and Fina
When you’re together for a while it can get harder and harder to come up with new ideas to keep things fresh in the bedroom (or out of it, in some cases). It sounds like you guys are off to a good start with the pictures, video, and public play. That shows you are adventurous and probably up for just about anything. An attitude like that is half the battle of keeping your sex life spicy and new.
Some of the resources I like best when it’s time to get out of a rut are books and videos. Books are great tools, whether you’re learning about new (and wild) positions or just reading each other some erotic stories to get into the mood. I recently purchased a fun book called How To Be A Dominant Diva, which is full of erotic scenarios a girl can plan out for her guy (with a short section of plans where he can have the upper hand as well). I can’t wait to start trying these out on Lucky. There are also all kinds of instructional videos out there that might give you some fun ideas, and the live action demonstrations might get you all hot and bothered themselves. Admittedly, I haven’t tried any of them yet, but I’m very interested in checking out the Tristan Taormino line of videos, perhaps starting with her Expert Guide to Positions. It can also be a fun game to pop in your favorite porn (or a new one) and try to follow along with the action on the screen. It’ll surely get you laughing, but it can also be pretty hot.
Speaking of videos, I know you said you’ve tried videotaping yourselves, and I’m curious how you did it. Did you just film yourselves having hot sex (which I love to do), or did you actually try your hand at making something a little more polished, complete with a plot and costume changes? Acting out scenarios and getting all costumed up can be a lot of fun, especially when you’ve got a camera rolling to catch all the hot action. And why not take it the extra mile? When you’re done rolling the camera, pretend you’re real porn stars who are just getting off work for the day and need some hot undirected sex to wind down.
You also say you’ve tried public sex, a favorite of Mac’s and mine, but how much have you explored your own house? I challenge you to see just how many surfaces in your house you can “deflower” by getting busy on them. Want another challenge? I challenge you to spend an ENTIRE DAY naked in bed together. I want you to have sex the moment you wake up and stay in bed caressing and enjoying each other all day long, only taking breaks to get up and go to the bathroom or get food (or toys, or batteries, or lube, etc.). See how many times you can bring each other to orgasm from dawn until dusk.
And of course, there are the sex toys. Certainly there must be something out there you haven’t tried yet. If you’ve graduated from the wide array of dildos and vibrators available, search for something completely new and different. How about a cock ring? Anal toys? Is he GGG enough to be bent over so she can try out a brand new strap on? If you each have your own computer, then perhaps it’s time to hook up a couple of web cams and try out some teledildonics. Share a computer? Then why don’t you grab your cel phones, a Fleshlight, and her favorite dildo and have some really hot phone sex? Bonus points if you each go to different public places and call each other. God, I’m getting hot just thinking about how much fun that would be!
Sometimes it can be fun to bring another person (or people) into the mix to spice things up. Threesomes, swinging, and group sex – when negotiated beforehand and played safely – can not only give you a fantastic night, it can provide fun memories to get you going again and again. If you’re not comfortable actually playing with others, you can get pretty close while still keeping your boundaries by checking out strip clubs together or even seeking out local sex clubs where you can meet other kinky couples to watch or be watched.
I’m sure that other readers will have many more ideas for you in the comments, so keep coming back to see what everyone comes up with. And be sure to let me know if you try out any of these ideas or come up with some new ones of your own.
Dear readers – leave your tips to spice up sex in the comments, as well as your recommendations for books, videos, toys, and games that might be useful to Liam and Fina (and the rest of us).
In the meantime, here are a few resources:
- Sex books
- Instructional videos
- Erotica to share: The Best of the Best American Erotica 2008
- For sex games and role playing ideas: How to Be A Dominant Diva
- Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Positions
- Sex toys galore at Babeland
Filed under: advice | Tagged: advice, books, dildos, fleshlight, group sex, role playing, sex toys, threesomes, vibrators, videos
